Cats are now the most common pet in the United States

Go cats! Taking over the U.S. of A., one furry paw and squeaky meow at a time.

College of Veterinary Medicine — Cornell University

“Cats are now the most common pet in the United States, with over 85 million owned cats reported in a recent survey. Approximately one third of U.S. households now have at least one cat living in them, and more than fifty percent of these homes have more than one kitty.”

Lion Cut + Old, skinny cat = Blood + Stitches

Bad human!
Yep. You don’t want to be the one who did this.

There’s a heap of denial among cat-loving humans who have skinny, old cats.

Is a cute-looking haircut and less fur on the sofa worth blood and stitches? If you say HECK YEAH! then go to it. Fire up that clipper.

I’m of the opinion that the answer is HECK NO.  I won’t do a lion cut if the cat is likely to be nicked during the shaving process.

I do make an exception for old cats who are so matted that they are uncomfortable. Their comfort is important, so it’s worth the risk.

Long-haired old cats stay dirtier and can’t deal with their own fur. Their tongue is worn out, I guess, not to mention the arthritis. They’re like that uncle who drinks too much and can’t remember to comb his hair . . . . you know, the uncle with the shirts covered with stains? You won’t do his laundry because who knows what he’s gotten into?

Cat skin is as thick as your eyelid. Think about that. You want me to come over and shave your eyelid?

The technical, boring discussion is below. You can skip it, unless you’re deeply interested in shaving cat’s privates.

1. Cat clippers work best on a flat plane. They zip along a flat surface and get every last hair off quickly and safely.

2. Cat clippers on an angle aim the blade at tender skin.  The blade isn’t parallel to the skin.  It’s going INTO the skin.  DANGER ZONES: clipping the fur in the underarms or between the rear legs. “I can’t believe what I’m seeing” thin skin combined with peaks and valleys. DANGER.

3. The thinner the cat, the more peaks and valleys, and the harder it is to shave safely. Shaving a fat cat is like shaving a balloon. It’s much easier to  shave a fat cat than a skinny cat.

4. The older the cat, the thinner and looser the skin.

Comb your cat every day, gently work on the mats with a comb, or maybe a round-tip scissor. If you’re a butterfingers be patient.  Spend some money on my services if you can’t do it yourself.

Awwww. Kisses.
Awwww. Kisses.

 

 

 

 

“My cat sheds too much!”

I’m going to lay it out straight, because I get too many calls from really sweet, really smart people who didn’t get the memo that the animal you adopted BECAUSE IT IS SOFT AND FLUFFY is an animal that is covered in fur. You want the kitty but no fur? There are cats for that.

Are you my new mom? I luvs you!
Are you my new mom? I luvs you!

If you didn’t get one, don’t blame the cat, don’t get frustrated, just figure out a way to live without a haze of cat fur. It can be done. Don’t fight reality. Work with reality.

I know a lot of you are much, much smarter than I am, so if I can figure out a way to deal with fur, you should be able to do it while you’re sleeping.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
I haz fur and I haz cute. Deal with it.

In short, since this is a LIVE animal, not a stuffed animal, that furs got to come off, so suck it up. Literally. Suck that stuff up with a slicker brush and a fully functional vacuum. Take pride in your tools, ladies and gents. Make common sense furniture/bedding purchases. See below for details.

Cats shed year-round. Shedding increases when days get longer. Shedding relates to light, not temperature. No artificial light, less shedding.

Apart from living like Abe Lincoln in darkness from the moment the sun goes down to the moment the sun goes up, how do you decrease shedding?

You don’t decrease shedding. They just keep on shedding. What you do is get better at scooping up the dead fur.

1. Run a metal comb through your cat’s fur a few times a week. Use a cheap metal comb. (Furminator shmurminator, I hate that thing. Costs too much, does too little.) Takes all of 2 minutes. Give your cat a treat while you’re doing it. Eat some potato chips while you do it. You’ll both be better for the experience. Fatter, but better. If your cat wiggles, hold on to the cat. You can do it. You’re a New Yorker! You ride the 6 train during rush hour! This is nothing compared to that.

2. Use a slicker brush, gently brushing your cat’s surface once a day. Takes all of a minute. Do it while you’re watching cat videos. You know you watch those videos, don’t even try to hide it. I’ll check your laptop history next time I visit, and all will be revealed.

3. Get yourself a quality vacuum, and keep that thing clean and functional. Don’t show me some sad-looking vacuum with fur and dust jamming it up every which way. That’s not a tool. That’s an embarrassment. Take pride in your tools!

4. Buy smart. You know you’re going to be crazy over fur if you buy yourself one of those suede-type couches that are so popular. Fur magnets is what they are. Don’t buy a fuzzy bed cover. Get one with a slick surface that can be shaken to get dead fur off, or else just put a cute sheet over your bed in the morning before you run out the door.

5. Give your cat his own furniture, which your cat will be perfectly happy to hang out on and adorn with shedding fur. Cat shelves, cat tree houses, cat beds on window sills. Lots of possibilities. Order them online. Spend a few dollars. If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. Try something else. You probably spent that much money on fancy drinks last week without thinking twice.

6. Put your clothes in a closet. If you have a white cat, think about your all-black wardrobe. You should have thought about that before you bought a white cat, so now you either switch it up and buy some light-colored clothes or keep a pail of sticky brushes by the door. Or you can dye the cat black. No, not really.

Have me come over every so often to do a complete comb-out, bath, drying. You’ll still have fur left over that sheds, because I’m a groomer, not a magician, BUT that fur will be clean, won’t be greasy, and there’ll be less of it.76y76 (Those last letters were typed by my black cat, Emma. She’s a professional writer.)

Go on now. You can do it. If you can’t, make regular grooming appointments and off-load the work to me.

 

“I just adopted a cat. Is it a good idea to groom adopted cats?”

If you just adopted a cat, congratulations!!!!!! You have so much fun, excitement and love ahead of you.

Should you have your newly adopted cat groomed? I think so, and that’s not just because I am a cat groomer:).

If your cat was in a shelter, I can almost guarantee that the shelter staff were too busy to brush the fur, wash the fur, or trim the claws of your cat. I bet they didn’t have time to check your cat’s ears for waxy buildup.  I bet they were too busy saving lives to de-shed or de-mat your cat. They did their job, which was to find a cat a good home. Now your job is to make sure your cat is clean and comfortable.

If you purchased a cat from a store, I doubt your cat was groomed. I know people who have worked at pet stores. There may be a few exceptions, but store employees are not trained in cat grooming. Selling the cat is the priority, not grooming the cat.

If you adopted from a reputable breeder, your cat has probably been groomed before. You just need to continue the grooming sessions.

Did you adopt from out-of-state? I would suggest washing your cat. Most cats get a little messy during travel. They do their  best to clean up, but even that wonderful Brillo pad known as their tongue has its limits.

So yes, please do groom your newly adopted cat. Your cat will be a better house-mate with clean fur, clean ears and trimmed claws.  That is a civilized cat, prepared to enjoy human companionship with elegance and grace:)

Clean cats are better house-mates
Clean cats are better house-mates